Back to School

Summer lovin’ had me a blast. No really. It was glorious.

But now school is back in session. And it’s time to get back at it. Woo-hoo. Emphasis on the hoo. We’ve been back for 4 weeks now but today was the first day it didn’t really feel like summer.

As we embark on a new school year, here are a few observations I’ve made in my suburban utopia.

The start of the school year is rife with conflicting emotions.

The sadness of no more beach. And hanging out on the deck. And having lazy mornings. Paired with the sheer elation of having some “me” time back when sliding door of the minivan closes as you wave goodbye and say I love you.  In my case, I’ve gained 2.5 glorious hours, 3X a week. I know, it’s hard to figure out what to do with all of my free time. Should I go grocery shopping? Check email? Clean up from breakfast? Figure out what to cook for dinner? Do the calendar? Go to the gym? Do PTO stuff? Lay on the couch and watch Kathie Lee and Hoda? The possibilities are endless.

All of the moms, dads and teachers at drop-off and pick-up are having the same mundane conversations.

How was your summer?

Good. Good. But I’m definitely enjoying getting back into the routine.

Yeah, us too. So good to see you.

Have you EVER heard ANYONE say, “Yeah, our summer really sucked.” Or, “I’m so glad to finally be getting rid of my kids!” No one says it. C’mon people. I know everyone is thinking it. And how many of you have heard, “WOW! He got so big!” It’s like, “No shit Sherlock.” It’s been like 10 weeks. Kids grow. Duuuuh. Why the fake amazement?

The morning routine must be reinstated.

Seriously, it’s like the summer actually made my kids dumber. They’ve completely forgotten that in order to go school you need to get dressed, eat your breakfast and brush your teeth. Is that too much to ask? And those are just the big three – this doesn’t include going to the bathroom, brushing your hair, grabbing your backpack and getting into the car. Oh no. I’ve decided this year to use reverse psychology. When my kids decide to play or do whatever it is besides getting ready for school, I’ve been sitting down on the couch and threatening, “OK. Well I’m just going to have a cup of coffee and you guys let me know when YOU want to go to school.” They look at each other in sheer terror and scream, “Nooooooo! We’re getting ready. We want to be on time!” Ha. Suckers.

I am eternally behind!

I just can’t believe I STILL haven’t gone through all of the papers and art work that they brought back by the grocery bag full at the end of last year. It’s still sitting in my living room waiting to be sorted into 3 piles:

-Things I want to hang up somewhere in the house

-Things I want to throw away

-Things I want to keep as a memory so I store it only to ultimately throw away in a few years because I’ll look at it and think, “Why the hell did I save this?”.

That’s all I got. Here’s to a great year – whatever grade you may be going into. And in the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, “May the force be with you. Always.”

Mason and Jacob on their first day of 2nd grade. I have 2nd graders already! WTF. How did this happen?

Skye on her first day of preschool. (2nd year of pre-school, Kofefim class) Who is this fancy fancy girl?

The Luxury of Time

So I apologize for going totally off the grid. But my kids suck up all of my time. They are time suckers. Just look at them...with their adorable faces and smiles that melt your heart. What a bunch of assholes.

Anyway, the school year is about 1 month gone now and we are totally into summer. Summer in the suburbs rocks. I'll definitely give it props for that. It's sprawling and spacious. You can grill on the deck and just let the kids outside. They play in the yard. Chalk in the driveway. Ride their bikes. Go on their swings. Climb trees. You can bust out the Slip N Slide. Fill up the inflatable pool. Run through the sprinkler. Play with the kids across the street. And that's not even mentioning the bazillion town activities there are to choose from. There are neighborhood pools and reservoirs. Everything is so family friendly. The suburbs in the summer is a suburban utopia.

Well in comparison to New York or Hoboken. Summer in New York just smells. Really bad. You're always sweating and breathing in that hot sewer air when you cross the street. Or go down into the subway. And with kids...forget it. Everyone and their grandmother are crowded into the same little water park trying to squeeze into that really small shaded area. Doing anything is tiring because you are always so hot. And lugging around huge water bottles and snacks. And kids.

But backing up...the year went great. I think. All three of my kids are still alive and "graduated" onto 2nd grade and second year of pre-school. Win win. If anyone was wondering about the Steve Songs show - it went really well. We made money. Everyone had fun. Well, except for me and the other girl running it. Being in charge of a major fund raising event is stressful. I sacrificed going to a Pats playoff game people. But it was for the kids. And the preschool. And that's all that really matters...I think.

But getting back to point - I haven't been able to blog about all my suburban happenings because I never have a second to myself. Not in bed. Not in the bathroom. It's pretty much all kids all the time. A blessing and a curse. I've often wonder what the fuck I used to do before I had kids. I mean, I can remember there being times when I actually thought "I have no time." REALLY? You have no kids. How do you have no time? Oh right, because Sundays you sleep until 11:00, roll down to the diner downstairs, have some breakfast and read the paper. Go for a walk. Watch a basketball game. Meet a friend for dinner. Life was tough.

I never realized that time was such a luxury. Whenever I have a babysitter (which is not often) I'm always late. Or rushing around to "fit it all in". I mean, it's hard to decide what to do when you actually do have a little time to yourself. You have to choose how to allocate that time. I really just always want to sleep. Or lay on the couch with a margarita. But I never do what I really want to do. No time. There's laundry to be done. Emails to write. Schedules to plan. Calendars to update. Dinners to cook. Fat belly's to work off. Showers to take. And that's not including all of the cool "side projects" I've begun. And then never work on. Because of the time-suckers.

But that's ok. I've kind of made peace with the fact that my time doesn't really belong to me any more. It's theirs. And I'm fine with that. Because they are so damn cute. And cuddly. And they love me so much. At least for now. I figure I should ride that wave as long as possible. So keep on sucking kids. The summer-time suburban utopia awaits.