Recycle

This week I’ve deemed paper plate week. I know I’m totally ruining the environment for myself. My children. And my children’s children. So why don’t I give a fuck? I’ll tell you why. Just like my good friend Josh Schildkraut, I am incredibly lazy. Sometimes. Well at least this week with the dishes. It's just one of those weeks. It's hot. Summer hot. Africa hot. I even have a dishwasher. And air conditioning. Like I said, think Josh Schildkraut.

But am I REALLY lazy? I mean, I do look after 3 kids every second of every hour of every fucking day without a lunch break. Or any alone time in the bathroom. Any time to really check emails. Unless they are watching a show or playing on the iPad. Which in case I have plenty of free time to do the dishes. Sweep up their muffins. And maybe, just maybe, take a shower.

This afternoon I picked shit up off the bathroom floor. Toddler shit. Ok, think toddler poop. For some reason toddler poop seems much less offensive than toddler shit. My littlest one just got herself some "big girl underwear" on Saturday. And the potty training is going swimmingly. Sure, she's had a handful of accidents and still hasn't really figured out how to take a crap on the toilet. She's used to doing it standing up. So going from standing to sitting is a challenge. I've also been able to frequent the public toilets about a gazillion times today. I've been to 2 elementary school toilets (one of them twice), Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts and Stop and Shop and this is all before 3:00 PM. 

I think the potty training is definitely an even exchange for the paper plates.